We don’t get stronger by avoiding the hard things in life.
But something good will always come when you are genuine and have the intention of love behind everything you want to say and do.
This thought came up as I was doing a spiritual study around Job 33:3 where Elihu told Job, “My words declare the uprightness of my heart, And my lips sincerely tell what I know.”
Elihu was younger than Job and his three companions, who brought Job false comfort when he lost everything in his life and thought God had also abandoned him.
However, Elihu waited through at least 8 speeches between the three companions, plus all of Job’s responses before he finally spoke up. Not because he was afraid of how they would react at all. Rather, out of respect for all the older men - he let them say their piece.
Once it was time for Elihu to speak out, he did so courageously not holding back to either Job or the three companions because he had full faith in God’s holy spirit and the things he was taught – the things that fully molded him into the person he was in front of these men at that moment. Elihu was completely driven out of love for God and love for his friend Job to speak out with such heart, conviction, confidence, and feeling.
He had nothing to fear because he was already determined to come out with sincerity and absolute truth and he stood firm in it.
So, what about you?
Do you hold yourself back from speaking up or speaking out about how you truly feel? Are you afraid of how others will react, maybe worried how they will perceive you from there out?
Think about this for a minute: whatever is heavy on your heart, if you were able to just say it out loud to the one person you wish you could (you know who they are) with absolutely no fear, no judgments, how would you feel after you did?
Maybe you have an experience similar to me: People have told me that I don't always have "tact" in speaking with some, but is that really what it is? I can say the most positive message, and someone may still not like it because they are having a bad day, moment in time, or they're just a negative being that cannot stand people who don't allow themselves to join in the misery.
Does that mean I should never say what I want or how I feel for the rest of my life? Now THAT sounds miserable!
While it’s scary to say exactly how we feel, the truth is we can’t control how anyone else should or will react. And that’s perfectly fine.
That’s not our choice, don’t ever take that away from someone.
Even if that person responds not so great, or what we feel is negative for a moment, maybe they need time and space, great – give it to them.
Because here’s the thing:
Even though it probably will suck for a while, it may even kill you a little bit, they will probably come back and say something like, “hey, I didn’t like how you said …. “ Or maybe: “You know, what you said took a lot of courage, but I’m not really into you like that.”
Whatever the case may be, right?
The fact of the matter is, you telling YOUR piece no matter how hard or scary, something good will always come out of it. I will keep saying it because I know, believe me! Look:
If someone misunderstands you, they will come back and let you know > This opens communication.
If someone rejects you > this opens your future to find someone who will accept you.
If someone doesn’t want anything to do with you > this opens your heart to move on.
I’m sure you get my point. And with those points, this gives you peace. No assumptions, no what ifs, no overthinking, and all that ugly stuff we all do but wish we didn't.
But again, I will stress that you need to go into these conversations being genuine with the intention of love behind why you are there and what you are seeking from it.
Copping an arrogant attitude, being on edge ready to be defensive and spit verbal daggers back at the other person, or being always being suspicious and judgmental is not being genuine or living with any intentions of love.
And this will be a super unpopular opinion, but hey, I’ve never been one to be popular guess what? Cutting people off or out of your life is NOT living genuinely and with any intentions of love. ( I can already hear the steam flying out of the ears #noregrets)
I mean honestly, is that who you REALLY are? And if you answer anything other than no, really? Are you proud of yourself for being that way? You’re just lying to yourself. I get it, the walls are comfy, but they can also get cold and lonely. Not to mention super boring when there’s a whole world out here to experience.
We don’t get stronger by avoiding the hard things in life.
But life will certainly get harder if we continue to hold everything in.
Once you realize this, accept where you are and where you want to be with it, can you courageously let it out, let it go and make room for what’s truly meant for you. (Guess what? It involves being happy, who knew!)
So, speak up. I can’t hear you.
Just kidding, I can always hear you.
Even when you’re silent. . . that’s why I’m here. Saying all the things you're too scared to.
I got you 🫶🏻
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