I'm sure every person reading this has lost at least 1 person to death. Whether it's been a grandparent or a friend, whether it's expected or not, it's never easy to deal with. And although "experts" say someone can die of "natural" causes, death isn't actually natural. From my own spiritual beliefs, humans were not originally purposed to actually die. So, how is that "natural?" Beliefs aside though, it's silly to me to try to make sense of calling death "normal" or "natural" because when you are healthy, how is dying a natural result of that, you know? It's just not.
And welcome to my brain.
Someone I know has passed away as of midnight this morning. I would call her my friend. Although we haven't been friends since I have officially known her, which has been since I was a little teenager (around 14, maybe? So, a couple of decades now), the last few years I have grown to love her as a person. She and her husband were always pleasant to see when I would visit the area where my brother lives.
Whenever I heard this couple's names, they were the kind of couple that brought a smile to your face. They had this reputation of that's them (their names). There was nobody like them in the sense that when you saw them, they were night and day, but they were sweet and had a fun sense of humor. For myself, they truly appreciated spiritual things and they always encouraged me that way, and that is why this loss impacts me so deeply.
People have told me that I affect others without even realizing it. Or maybe I do, but I don't take the credit. Regardless, I get what they're saying when I think of people like my friend today. I don't know if she knew the type of impact she has made on others, but I hope she knew how much she was truly loved and appreciated. And anyone who knows, would probably say, "Oh, I'm sure she did." But that's not what I mean. I'm not saying it out of comfort courtesy. I'm saying it as I hope deep down, she believed it whenever she was told. Because she really deserved it.
When you have lost someone, how do you cope? How do you carry on?
My beliefs help me the most. Then talking about it, and about the person. No, it doesn't always take away the sadness or the memories, but it helps you cope and nobody is asking you to forget these people or "get over it." As with all things in life, we need to cope, get through, and eventually the weight of sadness lifts and we carry on as normal as we can, right. But there is something even better that we can do:
We can carry on their LEGACY. How so?
When you think back to your engagements with these ones, what do you remember most? Maybe you did something that made you so so proud, but nobody else seemed as excited. But when you told this person, they were your number one fan and what they said negated the fact that nobody else seemed to care, and you carried that with you to the next thing/goal. Or maybe, there was a characteristic about them that you truly appreciated and felt that you needed in your own life. Focus on the things that made this person amazing and impacted you.
If this person is that important to you, the best way you can honor them, to carry on a legacy about them, is to continue to do the things they taught you. Continue to do the things they told you they were proud of you for doing. Continue or start (if you haven't) doing all of the things or ways in their remembrance. And when the next person comments on that, let them know about your loved one. Talk about them because it will reignite that fire and purpose of the legacy more with each mention, for you.
Sure, it will one day hit that you can't call them and tell them how happy and proud you are of carrying on these legacies - this happens to me very often when I have "light bulb" moments about my grandma; however, please remember that should they be alive today, be convinced that you are making them the MOST proud. Then, continue carrying on in doing it. Don't just get sad or depressed only to find yourself slipping away from it. They would want you to be happy and taking care of yourself. So keep doing it! Keep focusing on the happier times, knowing they would be right by your side in the harder and sadder times too, if they could. That is a symbol of pure love and care, right? No doubt each of us would feel the same way if we should pass away, no? Therefore, how much we strive to carry on their legacy will help us in those moments, instead of focusing solely on the fact they are gone. They still live inside our of hearts and minds.
So, live their legacies.
All of them💛
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