Do you feel bad or even guilty when everything in your life seems to be going well, but people around you appear to be struggling? I'm not talking about people who truly have real life problems, but people who are in a constant state of "struggle," but never seem to do anything about it.
I discussed this with someone last week, and mentioned I realized when things were going smoothly and when people would reach out or tell me about their struggles, suddenly I was in this state of "trial" myself. I would get self-critical, stressed, and just start being negative in general, and I never understood what was happening until now. Until I reflected on what was taking up space in my mind, what I absorbed day in and day out, and who I was talking to daily (I have mentioned doing this in past posts). I ended up having a discussion with a friend who was having a rough time with her mental health and even though I was extremely worried I would make it worse by bringing up how I was feeling, confronting her was the best thing because she already knew it was happening. We talked through how she was feeling and thinking, what had happened in the past with other people, and then what I observed and how I felt. Then, we were able to set boundaries that whenever one of us is having a moment, before we "word vomit," we ask the other if they have the space to hear us out or if they could let us know when they do. This way, our conversations are not just constant rant sessions throughout the day, but we also keep each other in check of our blessings and wins.
As someone reading this, you may be thinking, "seems sappy and unrealistic to hold your friends to that kind of standard." But is it? Because it's working for us, and I know a lot of others who do the exact same thing, and they have happier days and lives.
If you are someone who has "everything" together in life, or at least the most important bigger parts and it's going well for you, know that it is PERFECTLY FINE! We live in a society that thrives on mob mentality and victimization, which means if someone or everyone else is a victim, then they will be too. But why? What does that honestly do for you and why do you think what they are doing is going to work for you? I know, my logicalness is coming out and I get it, people don't want to put effort in anymore and entitlement has become a standard for people who, quite, frankly, have not earned it.
Well, my friends, we ain't doing that. And you know what? It takes courage to be different, just like it takes courage these days to be your true self and do what's right. But here's the real spoiler:
Doing all of that, IS NOT WRONG.
Don't feel bad if other people are struggling around you, because the fact of the matter is, we all can't be at the same time. Someone must help the other, to some extent. It's a circle of life and humanity. And if people want to shame you for appearing to have it together well, they have some inner work to do. If you have the space to assist with that, do so! But don't let them into your peace for doing what's never wrong. On the flip side, it's OK to NOT have it together, but still being positive. I will continue to repeat this: NOBODY is perfect, knows everything, or has life completely "together." But if you can find contentment and happiness in what you do have and wherever you're going versus joining the mob and finding something to always complain or struggle about, then you're golden.
Just do what's right - first for yourself (as Christians, always following the way of the Lord) and then outward. In fact, do more of what's right and continue to shine in the storm humanity is facing and show them the way. Then, don't let anyone disturb that peace within you.
Be courageous and be the example, not a humanity mob victim of toxicity 💛
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Have you experienced this? Would love to hear any of your thoughts, comment below!
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