When I've spoken about not letting what others say or do affect you, or it's not about you until you make a response, I don't mean we shouldn't care at all... There are some dots in this that need to be connected here:
Think about it, when you say something out of frustration, anger, or sadness, what are you really trying to say? What is the message you are trying to get across? When you figure this out, is it really about anyone else - surely it is not.
So then, how the other person(s) reacts, would be based on what was said or done (brought to them); however, its 100 percent becomes about that responsive person at that moment, positive or negatively.
We are all responsible for what we say or do, respond, or react, positive or negative. And that is not about anyone but us.
Then, if what we are saying or doing isn't favorable, and you realize it's because something in ourselves isn't right - why do we tend to be so quick in condemning someone else's demeanor?
When we each realize this within ourselves first, can we find true compassion and equanimity towards others? But, if you'd like to take it a real step forward, try to learn how/why the way you act or respond, what it means, and then attempt to first understand why someone else does the way they do. Only then can relationships mend, become strengthened, and people can start replacing anger, hurt, and sadness with clarity and eventually happiness or contentment in life. Because then, the next time you have "a moment," hopefully someone else has gone through this process and will give you the compassion you have bestowed on others up to that point. In effect, these moments will be fewer and forgiveness for our own imperfections will be easier.
And who here doesn't need more of that? 💛
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