This may sting, but...
Y'all have got to stop seeking "potential" in finding a boyfriend/girlfriend/mate.
When you come to me and say, "They have so much potential to (insert all of their epic potentially amazing qualities)!" It takes so much in my being, to not fire off all the questions my synapsis is exploding in my brain. I will always be a supportive and loving friend, but everyone also knows, Erin will always first be a completely honest and real friend, too. So, hear me out:
Do we not all know people, or even ourselves say, “I could, but…I’m just not motivated to do that?”
Spoiler Alert: Potential is Motivation’s younger sister! They are basically the same thing, the same DNA, the same cloth, the same apple from the same tree!
I’ve seen it so many times, where one of my friends says they want to do X many things in life as goals, and they start doing little things in life to contribute towards getting to them. Then, they meet someone and hear one little thing that might, not even an assured thing, which fits into their goals, and away we go – they can’t stop thinking about this person, or they want to always hang around them.
Then, if feelings are caught, the other person says, “I wouldn’t mind doing that with you, someday.” Golly, I didn’t mean to excite you so much…. Someday, ouch. But people still fall for this and down the road wonder what went wrong, why they are so unsettled and unhappy. :Sigh:
Motivation is mostly influenced or driven by outside forces. That’s why it is understood that a person won’t always have it when they are working towards even the most important goals. Inspiration, however, is driven from inward passion and desire and is extremely hard to break, when you are concrete in your core value and belief in that thing.
Now, I'm not saying you should judge every person you meet. Obviously, that would never make for a fun time in meeting new people. What I'm saying is, pull back on the emotions a little bit and think about the words vs their actions. Don't get caught up in the sweet nothings of their words, whether via text message, on the phone or even in person. Look for their actions: ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER, FRIENDS!
And they definitely mean a lot more.
So, friends, don’t settle for “potential” in anyone or anything. Don’t settle in life, period! Figure out what your ultimate core values and beliefs are, then figure out what your life goals are, and then should you wish to find someone to share that with – find someone who is ….. either actively (right now) doing that thing or, is actively working towards those goals themselves. They need to be at your level. Potential doesn’t matter if they never end up doing anything with it. And as for Christians, you must really watch out for this because everyone truly has “potential” as Matthew 19:26 says, “with God all things are possible.” Sure, when you’re riding holy spirit, every person can have any potential, but then we all must rise and do our own part as well – so where is that?
Stop looking at potential, start looking at evidence.
You deserve real and lasting happiness, get the real thing💛
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Have you had experience with this sort of thing, or have questions? Feel free to chime in with your expressions below
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