You’re pretty self-absorbed if you can’t handle someone saying “no” to you.
Hear (or read) me out.
When I first launched my business online through Facebook, I can’t even tell you how many guys direct messaged me trying to talk about my “relationship status.”
When I would honestly tell them that I am single, but I’m definitely not looking for any kind of relationship, they would get super defensive and continue to press me on it.
So much, that my block list is too ridiculous over the fact that it’s because I was honest.
Why can’t someone tell you no?
Listen.
If you’ve been hurt in relationships, I get it, it hurts. A lot.
You trusted someone and they betrayed that.
You thought you got over it, only for it to happen again.
And now, someone you think might have real potential, doesn’t want anything to do with you.
Or so it seems.
But I’m here to show you a different side of the story.
I think it will help – IF you are willing to keep your mind open and grow from these experiences.
If not well, you will continue to be self-absorbed and bitter.
When you come at someone like this and they essentially tell you “no” or that they aren’t interested like that, why do you get defensive?
“No” isn’t your rejection, it’s theirs. And it’s a limitation for them, not you.
If a person has the respect to tell you no instead of leading you on and letting you inflate their ego (or bank account) and then months, maybe even years later dropping you off an emotional mountain to die, then be ECSTATIC.
Because in that moment of response, they have allowed you back to freedom.
In essence, they have placed a limitation on themselves – closing the gap of opportunities by one less person.
Sure, maybe they “didn’t even give you a chance.” That is absolutely their loss.
Let them lose.
And you should get up and carry yourself onto the next, do you, be free.
Otherwise if that doesn’t make you feel any better – think about the alternative: If they stayed quiet and gave into your conversations and tried to appease you and then it burned out… that’s time wasted that you could’ve used on trying to find the right one.
For either of you, should they have wanted that as well.
People get so irritated and hurt by this whole process and for what?
People don’t express how they feel right away enough.
If you aren’t feeling it, say that and let’s move on.
But then if someone says that don’t pressure them. Don’t question them as if they just murdered someone. They have the right to say no, without reason.
Nobody owes anyone justification – they don’t know you.
And you frankly, haven’t really proved anything to deserve it.
So who are you to waltz up and demand such respect and then act like a tantrum throwing child when they said no?
Get out of here.
That is why I say that you are self-absorbed. Because your true intentions are now showing and nothing about this engagement considers the other person.
You just want to see what you can get from it.
If you truly respected others, you would consider their rejection and feelings and then make your next move.
And this is why so many of you seem sleezy sliding into them DMs. For real.
Now, this can be translated into any other relationships as well.
Friendships.
They don’t seem to like you? Cool.
Don’t flex any more effort than you’re given and continue being you.
Find people who do appreciate you for who you are and pour into that.
Don’t get mad because not EVERYONE loves you.
That’s super unrealistic.
You don’t need to put on fronts or shows for anyone.
Nobody is perfect.
Even Jesus who was perfect didn’t expect himself to be best friends with the entire world, just a close 12.
He did have love for the world to want to help them and be kind to them, he just didn’t surround himself daily with anyone but the 12.
As I always remind people:
We are the sum of the 5 people we keep close in life. Choose them very wisely.
What about a job?
Same thing here. Maybe you really wanted it and it just didn't happen.
It just wasn't meant for you, but that could mean that something even better is on its way.
For myself, when something doesn't happen, I always pray and thank God because he probably saw something that could have hurt me or hindered me in some way and decided that was not the best way for me to go right now.
So anyone saying “no” and has a rejection towards you – don’t take it personally.
Try to see it objectively sometimes.
That’s all about them – and they don’t need to justify it.
We all have our personal reasons, experiences and backgrounds.
Just be firm in who you are as a person as far as values, beliefs and what you truly want in life and continue to always live through that.
This is the only way you will eventually attract the right kind of people and opportunities in every facet.
Stay the path.
Never settle and never be shaken.
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